We are delighted to share the first chapter from Giacomo Sartori’s Bug, a madcap tale of family dysfunction, misfit savants, rogue computers, and bees. It’s translated from the Italian by Frederika Randall, who was recently awarded the 2020 Italian Prose in Translation Award for I Am God, also by Giacomo Sartori. Bug is out on February 2.
Like a Bank Shot Caroming Off the Rail
THE RUSSIAN SEMI didn’t brake because that Sunday, everything had gone haywire right from the start. Haywire on high and down below: sky spinning like an angry sea, floodwaters making mud whirlpools on the road, beehives thrumming under the rickety awning, even our pellet stove stubbornly refusing to light. Imagine what it was like inside Mamma’s head, brimming with worries and words she was getting ready to say.
You couldn’t see a thing in that downpour, and the Ukrainian driving the Russian semi didn’t even try to brake. Like I look through the porthole of a washing machine, he said, in his language that nobody understood.
Earlier, inside the former chicken coop where we live, it felt like a waterfall had been loosed, like icy rain might drill straight through the corrugated steel roof. There weren’t any gutters, but even if there had been, even if it had been a real house, a wall of water still would have been coming down in front of the bayonet windows. The wet knives were stabbing hard; even though I can’t hear high-pitched sounds, the racket they made shot up my legs and backbone into my brain. Nobody was talking, it was all shouting.
There at home, what we call home, you could see your breath, it was so cold. With a normal stove, all you need is a match and some paper, but ours is a smart stove: it will light only when the mini-sensors give the go-ahead and the regulation and machine-learning programs are all in accord. IQ tapped and re-tapped the keys on the control panel, the way an astronaut who’s become isolated from the rest of humanity will try something merely to try it. But the wood pellets just sat there, glum and immobile.
Mamma was in a hurry to leave for her monthly meeting. Last summer, seventeen families died and another five in the autumn because the bees that had survived the neonicotinoids were then hit with the varroa. But even in the other colonies, the apiculturists were sweeping up the cold, dead bees with shovels. So, the meeting was extremely important, they had to do battle with death. And the president of the regional beekeepers’ association is Mamma, not one of the big boys who rely on government handouts and cut their honey with some inferior Chinese product. The weight of those dead bees, and even the ones that were just suffering, was on her shoulders.
In her head, she’d already left home; she was going over what she was planning to say. Their assemblies are terribly stormy; there’s always someone who disagrees with this or that point, who wants the total opposite of what everyone else does. It’s always up to her to fend off the worst attacks and convince the stubbornest ones. However, she couldn’t of course leave home until Papa got here. She was a bull ready to charge at any handkerchief she saw waving.
Even under cover from the rain the atoms in the air were fizzing uneasily and my red blood cells were dancing along with them. The artificial neurons of the stove’s control system had gone on strike, and as for Mamma’s neurons, the sparks were flying.
Only my father could have made the pellet stove come to life. He’s the one who wrote the program that tracks the number of times the front door opens, and for how long. IQ just added a machine-learning element. But Papa hadn’t arrived yet because he had to do some urgent thing for Nutella. Mamma had smoke coming out of her ears, even though she’s a Buddhist and Buddhists generally remain cool. She detests Nutella, and the way she sees it, if my father’s involved, it’s not going to work.
Grandfather might have been able to calm the waters. But he’d been classifying transparent worms all night long, so we absolutely couldn’t call him. And then there’s his famous asthma that’s always getting in the way. Anyway, Mamma had already asked Papa, and you can’t brush the positive wire against the negative or you’ll get a short circuit. You have to keep them well apart.
At a certain point the clouds parted in front of the mountainside, the way when you make a wild move your clothes gap to expose some skin, and the snow was right there where the woods begin, it looked like you could touch it. But then the grayness closed over a new wall of water. If the snow had really arrived it would have buried all that wet and turmoil because snow is seraphic, it pacifies the molecules of things and people. It actually comes to keep us warm but prefers to appear chilly and indifferent.
Ever more impressive walls of water were preparing to carry off the chicken coop, my bones were humming, and Papa still hadn’t come. Mamma says when you want him to beat it, he doesn’t budge, and when you’re waiting for him to arrive, he’s off somewhere up to no good. He’d promised—he’s a wonder at promises—but in actual fact he hadn’t even sent a message saying he’d be late. And he wasn’t answering his phone.
I’m gonna kill the guy, Mamma said.
She was also irked at my grandfather because whenever some glitch occurs she suspects he’s equally to blame; he’s only concerned about his great tome on worms, she thinks. Once in a while she looked out toward the parking area at the other end of this tumbledown house of ours, as if staring deep into a tunnel, and thought of him. I can see what her synapses are imparting, although some people say I’m making it up.
My brother says there must be some kind of programming bug in the system that runs the stove, or else some malware. He thinks that’s the problem, not the neural networks he installed to promote machine learning. The segments of the program Papa wrote are competing with one another, he thinks. I was surprised to see him puzzled, he’s usually on top of everything and makes certain you know it.
My mother wasn’t listening because she can’t stand microelectronics, never could. For her, real life is cabbages and radishes and, of course, bees. She was staring at the time on her phone and struggling to breathe, thinking about my father. When you need him that idiot always gives you a kick in the ass, she was thinking.
Actually she was nervous because her bank account was deep in the red. This year the honey had earned nothing but she still had to pay off those ominous stacks of invoices, and then she got wiped out by the homeopathic remedies for the varroa mites. Useless homeopathic remedies.
The thing about the television had been weighing on her too. We’ve never had a TV because she’s opposed to them, like she’s opposed to Nutella, but two days ago one arrived. A very nice 28” model with an internet connection, an excellent brand. A jewel of a TV, anyone would agree. Remove the packaging and install, easy. She, however, told the Albanian driving the van that she hadn’t ordered it and she didn’t want it. He replied, with his foreign hand signals, that her name was on the order slip, as well as our address.
After careful study, the order slip divulged that the TV had indeed been bought using her name and paid for, too. With her credit card. Mamma nearly fainted when it emerged that I had ordered it and used her card. She couldn’t believe I would do such a thing—after all my promises, she said. More than enraged, she was dejected, which was even worse. You’re out of your mind, kiddo, she said, her curls swinging this way and that.
I myself had trouble believing I had done something of the kind, after solemnly swearing to be good. I certainly hadn’t counted on how she would react, sinking into this swamp of despair, her sad, sad eyes. But what has been done cannot be undone. Words can cover up many atrocities, but they can’t reboot the past, the way you do with a video game when you begin again. I shouldn’t have, I said to myself. I’m a moron, a stone-deaf moron.
The rain sounded like applause. Applause is something I can’t hear, but when the whole room begins to vibrate I sense it perfectly, it reverberates in my chest and sets off visions in red. Those hands were clapping to celebrate the rising tension of this perfect family tableau. The grand finale, it seemed, was on the way.
My father still hadn’t appeared, and our breath continued to make white globes in the waiting room. In the kitchen Grandmother was hunched over, looking terrorized. Poor thing, she loves the sun and cicadas; we have a plan to move her to the South.
“Applause is something I can’t hear, but when the whole room begins to vibrate I sense it perfectly, it reverberates in my chest and sets off visions in red. Those hands were clapping to celebrate the rising tension of this perfect family tableau. The grand finale, it seemed, was on the way.”
Mamma didn’t want to leave me without an adult, she says that every time she’s not around they have to take me bleeding to the hospital. Or I might commit one of my doozies and risk attracting the carabinieri. IQ, rather than keep an eye on me, has his head glued to his supercomputer, she says. And God knows how much she trusts me after the bombshell about the TV she had to send back.
My brother had spent the previous evening going through the electronic waste bin at the recycling center, a flashlight on his forehead. He came back with a shopping cart full of junk and sat right down again to his encrypted chat with the other hackers. The discussion about Bayer hadn’t calmed down at all; if anything, it was even more fiery.
IQ is a statue, he never loses his cool, but when it comes to hacking, he really throws himself into it. I mean, he chose the handle Robin Hood, not Peter Pan. He thinks they should carry out a major attack, defacing the Bayer website and disabling their computer system. An action in grand style, undertaken by many militants and using all the resources at their disposal, with the aim of extracting their secret files about the bees. He thinks that’s the only way the Bayer bosses can be nailed to their responsibilities and forced to reverse their policies.
On the other hand, a German guy considered by all to be a real guru maintains that the best strategy would be to slip in unnoticed, calling no attention to themselves. Because he’s German, he assumes he knows more about Bayer’s defense systems than the others do, a fact that annoys my brother. The American famous for various incursions into US government systems was pretty much in agreement with the German, however he insisted it was extremely important to be sure some kid didn’t do something stupid that could put him in jeopardy, and so they must be cautious.
Now twenty tons of steel riding on a tsunami of water cannot be stopped by anyone, and that’s a fact. Even supposing that between the crazy curtains of rain, the Ukrainian truck driver without a regular job contract had spotted the little Nissan Micra coming onto the motorway about to cut him off. Mamma was driving slowly, all Buddhists do, and that morning she was going even more slowly than usual because you couldn’t see much with that rain. And what was more, the fight with Papa had upset her.
Her right hand was hurting pretty badly because before my father arrived, she’d gotten furious with me. She’d bandaged the hand herself, using her left, and it wasn’t at all professional-looking. The problem was that she’d found a one-kilo tub of Nutella hidden behind Grandmother in the kitchen, and she had immediately stomped into my cell to get an explanation. She was enraged, the dark curls on her head were going up and down like threatening door knockers. You promised me! she shouted. You swore you would never stuff yourself with Nutella again!
In sign language I told her that I knew nothing about that half empty tub of Nutella, but even I could see that my line of defense was extremely weak. She knew very well that Papa had given it to me, and when I said nothing, she grew more and more irritated. Too much is too much even for the most Buddhist of Buddhists, especially when they are very tired and hassled. You’re going to pay for this, she said, her jaw locked in rage.
You’re a liar, she said. You’re unbelievably full of it. And then I had the brilliant idea of biting her, biting her until I could taste the blood between my teeth, which was probably the very least good thing to do on a morning like that. Also because it had been quite a while since it had happened, and we had all figured it would never happen again.
The Russian semi slammed into the Micra like a bank shot caroming off the rail, and Mamma’s little old car darted forward, looking for a place to hide. But there was no place to hide, just galvanized steel guardrails on each side, and it bounced back and forth from left to right like a drunk. Then the little car calmed down, as if it had decided to be wise and consider the pros and cons of this dramatic situation.
At that moment the semi, its twenty tons not even trying to brake, caught up with the Micra and hit it front on—headed the wrong way as it was. After that second blow the car flew backward, the way you would if you were regretting your strategy up to now. It slammed into something on the right and something on the left and finally ended up crushed between the behemoth and the guardrail, a tiny pebble blocking a giant set of gears.
Papa thinks that with driverless technology, a disaster like this would never have happened. The Micra would have sensed the truck, and the truck the Micra, and the two would have come to an agreement on what to do next. He thinks you have to be crazy to go on using manual controls on motor vehicles like they did a century ago, endangering yourself and others. By now autonomous systems can handle automobiles very safely; the technology is mature, he says. The human brain can make a whole bunch of mistakes while an integrated circuit never errs, he says. Best of all would be to hook up human neurons with artificial ones, that way there wouldn’t be any more problems.
When he comes out with this stuff, Grandpa just stares at him as if he were a Martian who’s just landed and is already brainwashing the first child he meets. Grandpa thinks he shouldn’t say things like that, things that risk harming my nervous system that’s already so “dot dot dot.” Papa just laughs and says there’s no way it could get any worse.
I was spying on what IQ was up to via my own computer when they telephoned asking to speak to Mamma’s husband. Papa said there was no husband, they were divorced. If you want, I can even tell you why, he said. He always likes to make it clear that he wasn’t the one who filed for divorce. And he likes to joke around. He even joked around with Mamma when, that awful morning, he finally arrived home dripping wet on his smart scooter, and the poor thing went into hysterics. And that’s why what happened, happened—you can’t just accuse me of making things up and ignore the evidence. So anyway, it was the highway police on the phone informing us that there had been a very serious accident. And although Mamma was in critical condition, they’d taken her to the hospital in an ambulance, because the helicopter couldn’t take off. At which point Papa called a taxi, because he doesn’t have a driver’s license.
About the Book
About the Author
The novelist, poet and dramatist Giacomo Sartori was born in 1958 in Trento in the Alpine northeast of Italy near the Austrian border. An agronomist, he is a soil specialist whose unusual day job (unusual for a writer) has shaped a distinctive concrete and poetic literary style. He has worked abroad with international development agencies in a number of countries, and has taught at the Università di Trento. He was over 30 when he began writing, and has since published seven novels and four collections of stories as well as poetry and texts for the stage. He’s an editor of the literary collective Nazione Indiana and contributes to the blog www.nazioneindiana.com.
Sartori took as his subject in his early novels Tritolo (TNT) and Sacrificio (Sacrifice) the stifling provincial atmosphere of the valleys of his native region and the twisted lives of its most vulnerable inhabitants. A recent novel Rogo (At the Stake), also set in the region, is written in the voices of three women from different historical periods who commit infanticide. The autofiction Anatomia della battaglia (The Anatomy of the Battle) about a young man’s effort to come to terms with and define his manhood against the model of his father, a committed Fascist, and the historical novel Cielo nero (Black Heavens), deal with fascism and its dark, persistent allure. Sartori’s shorter fiction includes the book of interrelated absurdist stories Autismi (Autisms, 2018) written in the voice of a person struggling to cope with the bizarre, baffling customs and expectations that all around him seem to share. The black humor and pessimism are reminiscent of Samuel Beckett. Several stories from Autismi have appeared in Frederika Randall’s English translation in The Massachusetts Review, and an excerpt from L’Anatomia della battaglia, also translated by Randall, appeared in The Arkansas International no 2. At present he lives between Paris and Trento.
About the Translator
Frederika Randall (1948–2020) was a writer, reporter, and translator. Among her numerous translations are Ippolito Nievo’s Confessions of an Italian (2015); Giacomo Sartori’s I Am God (2019), and his forthcoming Bug (2021), both published by Restless Books; and two novels by Guido Morselli, The Communist (2017) and Dissipatio H. G. (2020). Randall received grants from the National Endowment for the Arts and PEN/Heim Translation Fund and was awarded the 2011 Cundill History Prize, with Sergio Luzzatto, for the English translation of Padre Pio: Miracles and Politics in a Secular Age. She died in Rome in May 2020.
by Giacomo Sartori
Translated from the Italian by Frederika Randall
A Finalist for the 2022 Philip K. Dick Award
With the wicked humor and imagination that made readers fall in love with his novel I Am God, Giacomo Sartori brings us a madcap story of family dysfunction, (dis)ability, intelligent robots, bees, and a family of misfit savants living outside the bounds.
Paperback • ISBN: 9781632062741
Publication date: Feb 2, 2021